Emotional power
by Baigalmaa staff
Emotional power
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
Notes written by this seriously ill woman, a story that will make many people think about one another, make them feel the value of life, a story that shows the strength of the soul and the inexhaustible power of the soul, and contains lessons for the sick, and the magic of words that will help the healthy to understand and receive life and love. It was a kind of treatment and proved the optimistic saying "There is no way out, nothing is impossible". This woman, who was in the last stage of cancer, was diagnosed with no treatment and was only two days old, wrote about how she overcame her severe illness with her optimism and strength of spirit.

- One of the two nurses who was going to take me to the ward by putting me in a wheelchair asked the other, - Where are you going to take me? Isolation ward? Public interest? When I asked, the other one answered, "What is public, a separate room?" and looked at me with a sympathetic look, "The doctor wants to take me to a separate room." But later I learned that people who are dying are put in a separate room so that they don't show other patients that they are dying. They put me to bed and left me alone. At this time, I feel that I don't need to go anywhere, I don't have to do anything for anyone, I don't need anything, and I feel that my responsibility and other things are disappearing. the things of the world go away, everything doesn't matter, nothing and no one is interested and it's almost like a rest, it seems pleasant, I'm alone, only with myself, with my life, in a state of doubt about my existence, my life, and realizing how small, small, and short all the things of this world are compared to the approaching Death and the Unknown world beyond, and the things that I had never noticed before, life, real life, the chirping of the birds, the sun beating down on the wall above my bed. The rays, the golden yellow leaves waving at me behind the window, the blue autumn sky, the sounds of the big city waking up, the car horns, the clicking of high heels hurrying across the road, even the sound of leaves falling from the trees, I felt that I loved it all from the core. . At this time, I, involuntarily, - Thank you, God, for making me understand all this. How good is life? It is impossible not to love him. I prayed to thank you for making me understand even before I died. Then he said to himself, "Well, you have two days to enjoy and love life." Then I felt that I can love everything. Realized how expensive everything is. How happy I am to know that my separate room and the incurable disease of my body give me the privilege of inviting anyone who comes to me. I understood that my relatives, close friends and relatives were coming to say goodbye to me on the pretext of turning away, and how difficult it was for them to talk and communicate with a dying person. Seeing their miserable faces, instead of being sad, he decided to be happy. - I started to feel happy when I thought that I had met people like this at the same time. I used to tell jokes, humor and funny things to entertain the people who came back, and I laughed a lot myself. Even though they were blessed by God's salvation, they continued to smile and say goodbye in a happy and contented atmosphere. As soon as I knew it, two days passed and it was the third day, but I am still alive. Tired of lying down, I stood up and looked out the window when the attending physician came in and tried to make me lie down, saying, "Don't get up." In response, I said - What will this change? - It won't change anything, but you can't get up. - Why? I am alive on the forty-fourth day of the two days that were given to me. I even felt like eating sweets and ate them. My mood is good. But it is unpleasant for the doctor. He keeps coming in and checking on me, not understanding that my tests are not changing and that I'm not getting worse. I feel sorry for the doctor, I just want my newly discovered love and appreciation for everything and everyone around me to be happy. I was caught the next day, even out of my room, watching TV in the hallway. Doctor, - How are you doing this? he almost shouted. I said, "What did you do?", "The analysis, the results of the analysis I wrote to you." The next day I was transferred to the general ward. My relatives who gathered to say goodbye and bury me turned me away. In the general ward where I entered, five women were lying silently, looking at the wall, with gloomy faces, actively dying. I'll hold on for about three hours and if I don't do something, my love inside will sink in. When I got up and cut a large watermelon on the table, I said, "Watermelon stops nausea after chemotherapy," and they stood up in disbelief and staggered to the table. - Really? in the end,

- Yes, I said yes, but inside I really didn't know. The weakest woman with a cane said, "It's all right," and the others happily said, "That's right." Since then, we have been laughing and telling jokes and funny stories. After three days passed, the doctor asked me, "Won't you transfer to another ward?" requested. The women in my department didn't let me down. Neighboring wards came to our department and gathered together and spent the day together with laughter and noise. Because in our department there was overflowing love that we could not see. Eventually, we even danced as much as we could. The doctor on duty came in at this time, - I have not seen anything like this in my thirty years of work, and when he came back, we laughed to death at his facial expressions. I, reading a book, looking out the window, talking to people, walking down the hall, I was surprised that I loved everything I saw, the book, the compote, the neighbor, the car parked in the yard, even the old tree behind the window. Every time my therapist comes in to see me, she just looks at me. After three weeks, the doctor said, - Your hemoglobin has increased by 20 units compared to a healthy person. He said that it should not be raised more than that and left. He seems to be angry with me. Inevitably, the wrong diagnosis has led to stupidity. But there was no way that the diagnosis could be wrong. Once, he said, - I was going to find out the reason for your diagnosis. When you don't do anything, healing is going on, I said, - And what kind of diagnosis is this? He said weakly, "I haven't thought of it yet" and left.
I was about to leave the hospital, and my doctor said, "It is a pity that you are leaving." They told me that we have a lot of seriously ill patients. All the patients in our department did not die and were discharged from the hospital after recovery. And so my life continued... And my outlook on life changed. I feel as if I have begun to see life from the border of death and life from a higher perspective, and my horizons have expanded. Life is very simple and easy. I learned that if I just love, the possibilities are limitless, every wish will come true, but my wish must contain love. I learned that love is what makes negative things such as deceit, deception, jealousy, complaints, and wishing bad things to others disappear without a trace, leaving no room for them in life. And realized that God is Love.