No one has to do anything for you
by Baigalmaa staff
No one has to do anything for you
In 1966, Garry Brown wrote a letter to his daughter explaining how everything in this world, even love, is not given for granted, and is still used as a metaphor for life and worldviews and as a reference example for many things.

My dear girl!
The new year is approaching, and I am sitting thinking about what to get you and making it a problem. I know you are happy to get books, toys, and dresses. But, I want to give you a gift that will stay for a long time, not just for a few years, but for the rest of your life. That's what I wanted to be reminded of every New Year's holiday. And I think I found that gift. I present to you a simple truth of life that I myself have discovered over the years and that has made my life easier by mastering it. If you can understand this now and early, you can enrich your life in a hundred ways and protect yourself from many problems that you will encounter in your future life.

This is the truth of life: Nobody has to do anything for you.

This means that no one lives for you or on your behalf. Because no one, not you. Everyone lives for himself and fights for his own happiness. If you understand that no one can create your happiness, you will free yourself from expectations of the impossible. This means that no one has to love you. If someone loves you, there is something special about you, that's why they are happy and loving. Learn about that special thing and try to make it bigger and stronger. Then I will love you even more.
If people are doing something for you, they are doing it because they want to. Because, you have something important, so they are doing it to please you. They are not doing it for official reasons. If your friends want to be with you, they don't want to because of a sense of responsibility.
No one has to respect you. Some people will treat you well. Some will be rude. But when you realize that no one has to do good to you, you learn to avoid people who do bad things to you. Because neither you nor anyone else.
Again, no one is forcing you.

You, first of all, have to be the best for yourself, /obligatory/. Because if you are in a good position, other people want to be with you and there is an exchange of what you have in exchange for what you have. But, if someone does not want to cooperate, the reason is never on you. In such cases, leave it alone. Don't take other people's problems to yourself.
Other people, possessions, feelings, and thoughts do not have to share with you. No one has the right to dominate another. When I realized that no one should or should do anything to me, the weight on my back seemed to fall off. When I have thoughts and expectations that I want, should, and must keep others for myself, I am infinitely sorry that I have lost a lot of strength and energy of my body, mind, and spirit. In fact, no one realized that I don't have to do good things, look good, behave well, be respectful, be friendly, or be smart. By realizing this, instead, I find satisfaction and positivity in all relationships. I became more attentive to people who wanted to do what I needed, and I felt that my no-one-should-be attitude improved my relationships with friends, loved ones, business associates, shop assistants, and even strangers. When I want to get something, I put myself in the place of the person I'm talking to, and always remember that I can get what I want by understanding. All of this is my long-term understanding, so it's hard to fit it into one letter. Maybe this letter is not understandable at your age. If you read this letter every New Year's holiday, the meaning will become clearer to you little by little as the years go by.